SEXUAL BULLYING
If You See Bullying Happening
Most teens agree that they are against bullying, but many do not know what to do about it. Here we will show you what to do and what not to do when you see sexual bullying happening.
Bystanders, you play an important role in bullying because most bullying occurs in the presence of others and the more people who are present to watch the longer the bullying lasts!
Teenagers who witness someone being sexually bullied usually do nothing about it and often blame the victim for what is happening to her. This does nothing to stop the bullying and actually encourages it.
Ways that teens support sexual bullying are:
- Ignoring the situation
- Verbally encouraging the bully
- Joining in on the bullying
- Laughing
- Blaming the victim
Other Ways Bystanders Reinforce Bullying By:
- Laughing
- Pointing
- Blaming the victim
- Ignoring the situation
- Gossiping about it
- Staring
- Teasing
By taking specific actions against bullying you show the bully and everyone else that you do not agree with the bullying. It will also make it more likely that others will stand up to bullying too.
Below are specific actions you can take when you see sexual bullying.
Not all of these ideas may be best for you. Choose actions you are most comfortable doing.
What to do when you see sexual bullying:
Stand up to the bully.
Responding in a confident, assertive, nonaggressive way to the bully can show that you do not agree with what they are doing.
- Tell the bully to stop.
- Tell them what they are doing is bullying or harassment.
- Let them know what they are saying or doing is not funny.
- “Can’t you tell she doesn’t think it’s funny?”
- “It doesn’t seem like she is very interested in you.”
- “Stop being a jerk. Just leave her alone.”
Encourage the victim to leave the situation.
If you overhear someone making rude or sexual comments you can try to get the victim to leave the situation with you.
- Say something like:
- “Are you okay? Come with me.”
- “This is not worth your time, come on let’s go.”
Tell others to not join in on the bullying.
You can make a difference by encouraging others to not get involved in the bullying.
- When you talk to other bystanders use their names and look directly at them.
- If they are laughing and encouraging the bully tell them to stop.
- Tell people to leave the scene.
Provide support.
Reach out to the victim while she is being sexually bullied. This will show her that not everyone is against her.
- Ask if she is okay.
- Disagree with the bully or give the victim a positive compliment.
- Ask if you should get help.
Here are examples of how Maggie and Becky might respond as bystanders.
Think you know?
The following questions will help you understand what to do when you see someone who is being sexually bullied. Work by yourself or with a friend and try to come up with answers on your own before we help you.
Questions about the video:
Maggie and Lisa:
How does Maggie encourage what Brent is doing to Lisa?
- She does nothing.
- She laughs.
- She whispers to her other friend about what is happening.
- She blames Lisa.
How does Maggie help Lisa? Do you think this makes Lisa feel better? Why or why not?
Maggie helps Lisa by:
- Taking her by the hand and leading her away from the situation.
- Asking Lisa if she is okay.
- Comforting Lisa.
- Standing up to Brent for Lisa.
When a victim is supported they are less likely to be bullied again.
It also gives the victim higher self-esteem and they may be more likely to stand up to the bully knowing that someone supports them.
They may not care as much about what the bully said or did.
Are there actions or comments that Maggie makes that you feel you could do if you see someone being sexually bullied? What are they?
Becky and Alycia:
Think about when Becky stands up to Casi. What kind of an impact do you think her actions have on the rest of the team?
After witnessing a bystander stand up for a victim of bullying, other bystanders are more likely to do the same.
The impact Becky makes on the rest of the team is a positive one. The other team members are:
- More likely to stand up for Alycia if she is bullied again.
- Less likely to bully Alycia or other people.
- More likely to stand up for or comfort victims of bullying who are not members of their team.
- They are also more aware of their own actions that may be supporting bullying.
Are there actions or comments that Becky makes that you feel you could do if you see someone being sexually bullied? What are they?
Other things to think about:
Why is it wrong to blame the victim for being sexually bullied?
- No one deserves to be bullied ever.
- The victim may already be blaming themselves and the added blame from you will make them feel worse.
- Blaming the victim does nothing to solve the problem and in fact is supporting the bullying.
What are some other things you feel comfortable doing if you see someone being sexually bullied?
Here are some things you can do to help the victim after she has been bullied
Provide support.
Reach out to the victim after she has been bullied.
- Ask if she is okay.
- Tell her you are sorry that it happened to her and that you do not agree with it.
- Tell her the bullying is not her fault.
- Invite her to eat lunch with you, to hang out after school, to go to a sporting event or study in the library together.
Encourage her to tell an adult.
Being sexually bullied can be embarrassing, so it can be hard to tell someone else about the situation. It is always best to find an adult and tell them what happened. Remember, this is not tattling.
- Offer to go with her.
- Offer to do the talking if she feels uncomfortable.
Remember it's not tattling if…click here to learn the difference between tattling and telling (DOC).
Click here to learn how to talk to an adult about bullying.
If you have not seen the bullying but suspect it is happening, ask!
Being sexually bullied can be embarrassing, but the victim may actually be relieved to talk about it.
- Voice your concern and tell her why you suspect someone has been bullying her
- Tell her if she does not want to talk right now, you are always there if she wants to talk later.
Let's take a look at what happens next in If Bullying Happens To You →