If Bullying Happens To You
Sometimes teens do not know what to do when they are being bullied. Here we will provide you with specific actions you can take to stop the bullying.
With cyber bullying, you may feel powerless to stop the comments, emails or texts but there are ways to help yourself. Because cyber bullying can come in so many forms, each situation is unique and may require different actions.
But remember the following:
- Do not blame yourself! No one deserves to be bullied.
- The negative feelings you have to being cyber bullied are normal. Learning to control these initial reactions is the first step in dealing with and ending bullying.
- Click here to learn about controlling emotions (DOC).
Here are some tips and ideas to use when you are being cyber bullied.
Do not bully back.
Responding to the bully in an aggressive way will only make the situation worse.
- Make the choice to stay calm and confident. Do not make the same choices the bully did.
- Think about whether or not you are going to respond. The best thing to do is to not respond at all.
- See below for information on what to do if you decide to respond.
Don't open it!
We know it is enticing to read what others have written about you, but if you don't read it, it can't hurt you.
- If you have been getting any type of harassing texts, emails, comments, etc. do not open them. Delete them if at all possible.
- So you don't have to read it, ask someone else to go in and delete them for you.
Responding to the bully
Deciding to respond.
The best thing to do is to not respond at all, but sometimes, if done correctly responding can put a stop to the cyberbullying.
- Do this only if you feel you can control what you say. Never bully back!
- Here are some quick easy responses:
- "Congrats on sending your millionth text message today."
- "IM me all you want, you are wasting your time."
- "Remember what you are doing is bullying."
- Say what you want and then close out of the program, shut the computer down, or turn off your cell phone.
- Responding with a mean comment does not make it better. Do not get into a commenting war. The bully will use what you say against you.
Use our action plan (DOC) to decide how to respond.
Here are some things you can do after you have been cyber bullied:
Cyber bullying can make a victim feel alone and isolated. Always tell someone what is happening, even if it is just a friend.
- When telling your parents do not worry about your cell phone or computer being taken away. Be realistic, this may happen. But you need to take care of the situation before it becomes worse.
- Tell anyone you feel comfortable talking to:
- School Staff
- Community Leader
- School Nurse
- Before you tell an adult what happened, tell them what you want from the conversation such as you want help problem solving, or you just want someone to listen. This will help the conversation go better.
- If you feel nervous or are not sure what to say, write it down or ask a friend to go with you.
Click here to learn how to talk to an adult about bullying.
Remember it's not tattling if…click here to learn the difference between tattling and telling (DOC).
Evidence will come in handy when reporting cyberbullying.
Click the following link to read our instructions on how to save evidence (DOC).
Ask someone to make a pact with you to stay off of the websites or cell phones. Cyber Free Pact Activity
If you are being threatened.
- Do not respond! Eventually if this information is reported to the police, if you have incited or enticed the bully in any manner they may not take your complaint seriously.
- Save evidence.
- Tell an adult right away.
- Ask them to help you report the bullying.
- Contact local police if necessary .
Here, Amy, shows several possible ways to deal with being cyber bullied.
Think you know?
The following questions are to help you better understand what to do if you are being cyber bullied. Work by yourself or with a friend to come up with answers on your own before looking at our answers.
Questions about the video:
How would you have handled the situation? Were there things that Amy did that you liked or didn't like? Why or why not?
How do you think Amy stayed so calm? What are some things you would do to stay calm?
First, Amy didn't let her emotions get the best of her. She didn't cry, yell, run away or get angry.
She may have used:
- Positive thoughts.
- Breathing exercises .
- Thinking about how bad the bully must be feeling to do something that mean.
- Built a wall in her head.
Other things to think about:
Why is it sometimes best to tell an adult about being bullied?
You should always tell an adult if you feel you are being threatened or in danger.
It can also be helpful to tell an adult because:
- They care about you.
- They can listen.
- They can offer good advice.
- They can help you come up with ideas or ways to solve the problem.
- They can take action to help you solve the problem.
- They can follow up with you and make sure the bullying isn't happening again.
Write down the names of 3 people you would talk to if you were cyber bullied?
Let's take a look at what happens next in Bring It Together →