PHYSICAL BULLYING
If You See Bullying Happening
Most teens agree that they are against bullying, but many do not know what to do about it. Here we will show you what to do and what not to do when you see physical bullying happening.
Remember: A bystander is anyone who has witnessed, read about, or heard about someone being bullied. Not standing up to the bully or not helping the victim tells the bully and everyone else that you agree with what the bully is doing.
Ways that teenagers show bullies that they agree with them:
- Laughing or giggling
- Chanting "Fight, fight"
- Ignoring the situation
- Doing nothing
- Pointing
- Staring
You might be supporting bullying by:
- Laughing
- Pointing
- Whispering to other people about it
- Gossiping about it
- Chasing after or holding the victim down
- Staring
- Doing nothing
Although most teenagers agree that bullying is wrong, they do nothing when they see bullying happening because they think everyone agrees with the bully. By taking specific actions against bullying, this shows the bully and everyone else that you do not agree with the bullying and will make it more likely that others will stand up to bullying too.
Below are specific actions you can take when you see physical bullying.
Not all of these ideas may work best for you. Choose actions you are most comfortable doing. All of these options tell the bully and other bystanders that you do not agree with the bullying without directly confronting the bully.
What to do when you see physical bullying
Talk directly to the victim.
Reach out to the victim while she is being bullied.
- Say something to get the victim away from the situation such as "Let's get out of here."
- Ask if she is okay.
- Ask if she needs you to get help.
Stand near the victim.
As others are moving away from the victim, you step forward.
- Stand in the area around where the victim is.
- You do not need to touch the person, just stay close.
- By standing near the victim you are showing the bully that you may very well stand up for the victim.
Tell others to not join in on the bullying.
You can make a difference by encouraging others to not join in the bullying.
- When you talk to other bystanders, use their names and look directly at them.
- If they are laughing and encouraging the bully tell them to stop.
- Tell people to leave the scene.
Find help.
When you see physical bullying it is always best to find an adult and tell them what is happening.
- Tell an adult as soon as the bullying starts or if someone is hurt.
Click here to learn how to report bullying to an adult.
Remember it's not tattling if…click here to learn the difference between tattling and telling (DOC).
Here Shawna shows several ways a bystander can react to bullying, some bad and some good.
Think you know?
The following questions will add to your understanding of how to help someone who is being physically bullied. Work by yourself or with a friend to come up with answers on your own before looking at our answers!
Questions about the video:
What things does Shawna, as a bystander, do to encourage Susan? How does this make the situation worse?
By not stepping in to help Sarah, Shawna is telling Susan that it's okay to bully others.
There are several ways Shawna encourages the bullying:
- She laughs.
- She whispers to her friend next to her about what is happening.
- She does nothing to stand up for Sarah or to help Sarah.
What are some reasons why Shawna chose to do nothing to help Sarah at first?
There are a lot of reasons why people do not stand up to the bully:
- They may be friends with the bully.
- They may not be friends with the victim so they feel there is no reason to help
- They are scared the bully might come after them.
- They are entertained by the bully.
- The group is going along with it so they do too.
- They don't really know what to do to help.
Do you think what Shawna did helped Sarah? Why or why not?
Yes, what Shawna did help Sarah. Let's take a look at the different ways Shawna's actions support Sarah:
- Stepping in and standing close to Sarah. Notice that when everyone is away from the bully and victim, Shawna steps forward. This shows Sarah that someone is there to help her if she might need it. It may also keep the bully from doing anything else.
- Telling the other bystanders to "chill out." The bully feeds off of the attention and reactions from the bystanders. By saying "Chill out" to the other bystanders, Shawna helped them realize that what they were doing was wrong.
- Getting Sarah out of the situation. By taking Sarah by the arm and leading her away, Shawna gives Sarah a way out.
Other things to think about:
List some reasons why you would help someone who has been physically bullied.
Here are some reasons other teenagers gave for standing up for and supporting a victim:
- Telling the other bystanders to "chill out." The bully feeds off of the attention and reactions from the bystanders. By saying "Chill out" to the other bystanders, Shawna helped them realize that what they were doing was wrong.
- Some teenagers said they felt a sense of guilt if they did not step in and help.
- They felt that bullying is wrong.
- They felt that as a friend to someone, it is your responsibility to have her back.
- They had confidence in their skills to intervene.
- They believed in themselves and do not care what others might think of them.
- It made them feel good to intervene and help.
When Shawna tried to help Sarah, what was something Shawna did that you would feel comfortable doing?
Here are some things you can do to help the victim after she has been bullied:
Provide support.
Reach out to the victim after she has been bullied.
- Ask if she is okay.
- Tell her you are sorry that happened to her and that you do not agree with it.
- Tell her the bullying is not her fault.
- Invite her to eat lunch with you, to hang out after school, to go to a sporting event or study in the library together.
Encourage her to tell an adult.
Being physically bullied can be embarrassing, so it can be hard to tell someone else about the situation. It is always best to find an adult and tell them what had happened. Remember, this is never tattling.
- Tell her that you really think she should tell an adult.
- Offer to go with her.
- Offer to do the talking if she feels uncomfortable.
Click here to learn how to report bullying to an adult.
Remember it's not tattling if…click here to learn the difference between tattling and telling (DOC).
If you have not seen the bullying but suspect it is happening, ask!
Being physically bullied can be embarrassing, but the victim may be relieved to talk about it.
- Voice your concern and tell her why you suspect someone has been bullying her.
- Tell her if she does not want to talk right now, you are always there if she wants to talk later.
Let's take a look at what happens next in If Bullying Happens To You →